Our male members and female members often have language difficulties when communicating. However, if you have great patience and adopt an attitude of learning about the message sender, language issues become less of a problem.
Most of our female members have studied the ENGLISH language for at least 6 years in public school as a second language. In addition, many of them study abroad in order to increase their English language skill. Some of them work for an American company in Japan where they are supposed to speak English in their company. Furthermore, some of them take English language classes after work because they want to communicate well with YOU!
I hope you understand that all of our female members are making a great effort to improve their English language writing and speaking skills.
However, their English communication level depends on how much time they spend being surrounded by people who speak English. It means some of them are still not very good at speaking, but their English language level will be better when she starts communicating with you.
At the same time, it helps when you show a great compassion when communicating with her. For example, please think about if your message makes her feel happy.
Here is an excerpt from the most famous Japanese literature “BOTCHAN” by Soseki Natsume. One is in English, the other is in Japanese.
Botchan by Soseki Natsume in English
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Botchan by Soseki Natsume in Japanese
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You may read the English version in one minute, however, how long would it take to read the Japanese version? Probably, most of you who have never learned Japanese language cannot read it in Japanese. Some of you can read the passage with the help of a Japanese dictionary, but it might take more than 30 minutes to read the first 10 lines. And you might feel very frustrated in doing so.
Of course, people whose first language is Japanese can read the Japanese version in one minute. However, it may take them more than 30 minutes to read the English version. This happens all the time when our female members receive a message from male members. Even though our female members can read, write and listen to English, most of them are not at the same English level as a native English speaker. If she receives a message with sentences in “BOTCHAN” from you, she will need to make time to read it carefully with an English dictionary, and think deeply in order to reply to you with nice words. This process may take a lot of time for her to reply to your email. Also, many Japanese employees leave home 7am and return home 10-11pm Monday to Friday, since this is the normal work schedule in Japan.
So, if you write to her a message like the example sentence from “BOTCHAN”, she may not feel very enthusiastic about replying, and your message might stay in her INBOX for a week or longer, or may never be read.
Actually, many of our female members gave up communicating with a male member after she received a message like that. It doesn’t mean that she dislikes you. It means she feels guilty and sad if she cannot reply to you as soon as possible. She feels that she is not the woman whom he expects her to be.
In order to avoid this situation:
1. You need to understand her English level.
2. Your messages should be not too long like the example from “BOTCHAN”, but not too short like a text message.
3. Write emails that are easy for her to reply to in a short time.
4. Attach your photos with your message. Visual materials always help add interest to your communications.
5. Talk on Skype at least once a week. Some women are better communicating verbally rather than with the written language.
Better communication is the KEY to a SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. I hope you concentrate on creating messages that make her feel happy!